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Have you ever taken a real situation - then dreamed about it - but a skewed version of what was real?
I do this a lot - I think.
My senses are enhanced.
The box I pick up has a beautifully smooth texture.
As I chew on the chocolate chip and almond cookie I take notice to the distinct taste of the almond.
"Dear Lover-
Something about you continues to make my mind race. What is it about you? Have you subconsciously reached your hand into my brain and turned it to mush? Do you think about me too? You said once that you did - but do you really? Hello and welcome to my life - because I want you in it. or do I? Something about you makes me smile - even when something really sucks - I think of you and smile."
I look up at a photograph of a rose that has been dropped on broken glass.
It's a very sad image.
The forgotten and broken rose - left behind on the cold floor while slivers of glass surround it.
Why did I ever take that photograph? Wanna talk about some symbolism!?
I really do like the photograph though.
I need to do something artistic.
Paint a feather.
Make it fly away with me.
Sucker for blue eyes and blond hair. Yum.
I wish I had magical powers. That would help.
Actually.... I do have magical powers -- they are just temporarily out of order.
Its funny to look around and have so many memories.
Some good and some bad - a memory is a memory - and thats what builds you~
The mind is very important.
I think many people underestimate the power of their mind.
Funny to hear a song and say "ha, totally me".
I think I was born at the wrong time.
I should have been born 30 years before I actually was.
Oh well - must be a reason that I'm here now.
Ever wonder why certain people come into your lives?
I think everyone comes into your life for a reason - but sometimes that reason is really hard to see.
I get kinda creeped out when I meet someone for the first time and feel like I have known them my whole life.
Does my life exist prior to my supposed "birth"?
When I meet someone and feel like I know them it makes me think that maybe I did.
Maybe they were my best friend in a previous life - or maybe my enemy - who knows?
It would be cool to know.
It's funny when you know how to do something when you know you've never done it before.
Life and the whole world is so complex - which intrigues me to understand it.
Im not sure I will ever truly understand it though.Current Mood:  high |
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I was sleeping.. and dreaming?! - I think.
In the dream I was sitting at my computer desk.
A very hot guy (I would know him if I ever saw him) walked into my room and sat on my bed and began talking to me.
*this was a silent dream - but I knew what was going on*
He began ***tapping my knee*** and I made him stop because it hurt a lot.
We walked out of my house to go to his car.
As we walk out my front door and cat jumped on me and ***scratched my arm***.
We got in his car and drove toward the Beach.
It looked like chaos outside and everyone was running around looking up at the sky.
It looked like they were screaming - but it was a silent dream.
We pulled over and I opened the door to see what the sky looked like.
I heard an evil voice - have no idea what it said - but evil.
I slammed the door shut and woke up.
When I woke up I screamed - it scared the shit out of me.
I had a bruise on my knee, which I did not have the day before.
I also had a fresh (still bleeding a little) cat scratch all down my arm.
I did not have a cat and there was nothing in my house that could give me a scratch like that.
I even searched my room for something that could have done it to me.
I have theories about what happened to me - needless to say - it really scared me at the time. |
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May. 16th, 2005 @ 03:48 pm
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She is a bartender in a huge bar - jam packed.
She has a daughter at home and is working to provide for her.
The father of her child was abusive - she has a restraining order.
She still dreams of a previous love.
Her heart was broken when he disappeared - she didn't even know if he was dead or alive.
His face didn't haunt her as much anymore - but she still dreamed of him every night.
Even when she was with the man who helped create her beautiful girl.
She never stopped loving him.
It is a Friday night and she is busting ass at the bar.
She is so busy that she doesn't look up to see who is ordering drinks.
Everything is a blur and then she hears a man call out "7 and 7".
She knows that voice - her heart begins to race but she doesn't want to look.
She doesn't want this disappointment - but no other man in the world has that voice.
When she looks up - her heart drops - time stands still.
She can hear other orders being shouted at her - but they sound so far away.
Another bartender walks behind her, "are you ok? You can't stop now - we are so busy".
"7 and 7.. right?" she asks the man - he says yes.
Why doesn't he know who she is?
She knows it is him - he has aged a bit - but it is him.
He takes the drink and disappears into the crowd.
He is disappearing - just like he did 7 years before.
She almost falls on the ground and says to the other waitresses, "I am so sorry.. I need a cigarette".
She pays no attention to their responses and rushes into the crowd.
It felt like hours had gone by - she was still searching - there were just too many people.
She begins to cry and feels like her heart is being riped out of her chest.
There is a dim EXIT sign above the door - she goes for it.
As she busts out the door - it is like she was gasping for air.
At this point a mixture of sweat and tears are streaming down her bright red cheeks.
Her arm is bleeding - she must have ran into something while she was pushing through the mob of people.
Someone from behind her hands her a napkin to stop the bleeding - she says thank you without turning to look at the person.
"Yeah, no problem".. it was him - she knew it was him - she runs and grabs the man who was now walking away. |
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May. 16th, 2005 @ 03:22 am
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Three siblings. A girls and two boys.
The sister worries way too much.
One of her brothers is a year older than her.
He has a girlfriend with no personality.
She worries that this new girlfriend is in it for the wrong reasons.
He is a fine athlete and will go places - she is in it for the ride.
The younger brother just seems to not care about anything.
He is a genius but doesn't seem to be on the right track.
This poor sister - she has to much shit to worry about - but really, is there anything she can actually do? |
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May. 14th, 2005 @ 07:01 am
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The room is dark except for the glimmer of light the television is giving off.
TV is of no importance to her.
She lays there - her body intertwined with his.
He is sleeping peacefully - occasionally waking up enough to lightly kiss her.
She can't sleep - her mind races.
"Where is this going?" she wonders.
Quickly pushing this thought out of her head - she says to herself, "this is going nowhere - yes I have feelings for this man - and I believe he has feelings for me - but still it goes absolutely nowhere."
She can't take it anymore - her mind drives her crazy.
She kisses him on the forehead and whispers, "baby I'm gonna go".
As she maneuvers her way out of the bed he grabs her hand, "why do you have to go? Stay?"
She says something about wanting to be in her own bed - which is a lie.
He knows she isn't truthful but he will only ask her to stay once.
They kiss and say goodbye - both disappointed. |
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It is believed that they love one another.
They have dreams and aspirations that no one else could possibly understand.
In her mind - he can do no wrong.
His mind tends to wander as do his eyes.
This is a bad combination for a couple.
L.O.V.E. is just a 4-letter word. |
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Sitting on a porch, watching the clouds.
They are dark and mysterious.
Who knows what will come out of them, they could explode at any time.
It is calm now, but is it the "calm before the storm"?
No one really knows.
All of a sudden all of the dark clouds are gone, within 2 or 3 seconds.
As if something took a straw and sucked them away!
Uneasy feelings take over.
Standing on the porch now, seeing something in the distance.
Tornado's? 5? 10? Way over 20 of them coming this way!!
Fire breathing tornado's coming straight for me!Current Mood:  crappy |
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Apr. 26th, 2005 @ 10:02 am
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Her work is exceptionally late.
She procrastinates to the very last minute, even after the last minute has passed.
She dreads taking her late work to her professor.
Is he going to be in his office?
She is going to try to sneak it in.
Shes nervous.
After being up for so long, she doesn't want to come face to face with him.
She walks into his office and there he is, just standing there.
It was as if he was waiting for her.
She feels awkward. "Hi," she says.
He just kind of stares at her, gives her a half smile and says, "morning".
She stands there with a folder bulging with papers.
Really damn good papers.
This folder was due a couple days ago.
She wonders what the penalty will be, but she doesn't REALLY want to know.
So she gives him the folder with a sign of relief.
Turns and walks out the door.
She will have to wait until he posts grades to see what she got, it is out of her hands now (literally)!
She walks home in a daze, only to fall into a deep slumber in the bed she has missed deeply for the past couple nights.Current Mood:  exhausted |
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Apr. 26th, 2005 @ 12:33 am
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She walks into Fridays to meet her - soon to be - boyfriend.
Her hair is falling perfectly around her face and flows with her movements.
The make-up she is wearing looks completely natural but perfectly accentuate her best features.
She is wearing a skimpy, but classy black dress that ties around the neck.
Revealing enough to intrigue the man she is about to meet.
The classic girl walks in and sweeps boy off his feet is suddenly brought to a screeching halt.
A couple friends scream to her. Moment ruined.
She blushes at the fact that they are screaming to her and she says a quick hello.
She makes the conversation as short as possible and tries to move towards her date.
Before she knows it, he is standing next to her with his hands fondling her waist.
She blushes, yet again.
She introduces him to her friends, that are only somewhat acquaintances.
They proceed to go back to their own romantic table making small talk along the way.
She wonders: "Do you think the two of us will ever REALLY be anything more than what we are in this moment?"Current Mood:  amused |
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Sitting at the bar with some friends.
Laughing, drinking, playing bar games, gossip.
My dad walks in and loudly announces that I am not "of age".
My fake ID is at stake here, what do I do?
"God Dad don't you know how old I am?"
He pauses to think. What enters his mind I have no idea!
In his moment of thought I signal to my friends.
Threw some money on the bar, way over tipping the beautiful bartender thats wearing a hot pink mini skirt.
By the time my dad realizes I really am only 20, the whole bunch of us were on our way outside.
After he realized he had been fooled, he quickly follows us.
He bangs through the door as we are walking past a chubby, overworked police officer.
He yells for me as he grabs my arm.
"Is there a problem sir?" the officer says in a low voice.......Current Mood:  blah |
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